The People You Meet (A Politics Free Post)

The last couple of days I have been thinking about all the people I have met online, and the diversity in cultures and personalities.  If you met them outside the computer, would they be the same?  Would you?  Would they be what you expected?    Would we all focus on what we had in common, or would we focus on our differences?  If you really thought about those questions, would you know the answers?


Do you treat people the same online as you would if they were in front of you?  I know I used to be able to say I did.  Its not an easy thing to admit, but I know over the last year or so when I have been sick, stressed out and lost in my own head, I lost sight of that question.  I treated some people more harshly than they deserved.  Sometimes they did deserve it, but I didn't handle it as well as I would have if they were in front of me.  Sometimes I have failed to pay enough attention to what was said, or more importantly to what wasn't.  You learn to 'read' the people you know well, and there were times when I was totally oblivious to their need to be heard.  Some have understood, and some haven't.  Either way I have learned from it.


Funny thing about relationships online, all relationships,  is that unless you use a cam you miss the subtleties of talking to someone in person.  You can't look them in the eye, you can't look at their face and see if they are taking what you say the way you meant it, or if you are understanding what they say the way they meant.  You miss the inflections in their voice that tell you those things, too.   Sometimes you misunderstand people, and they misunderstand you.


But, for the most part, we navigate our way through it.  We meet people we wouldn't otherwise meet, or given a chance if we met them on the street.  We have more in common, than not.  We learn about, and from each other.  If you are going through something, chances are someone you know has been through it, too.  People who are eager to share information.  They share in the successes, and when something goes terribly wrong, you find you have friends who will hold you up when you can't stand on your own two feet, and they are happy to do it.  There but for the grace of God, and all that.  


For every bad thing that can happen on the internet, there is something good to balance it out. For people who can't get out of their homes, there is a whole internet of communities so they don't have to feel so alone. The communities we create online can be as important, or more important than the ones we have away from the computer.  If we're lucky, we meet people who change our lives.  I know I have.  If you are really smart,  you tell them.  Trust me, you don't want the regret of not recognizing it until it is too late.


This is for all my online friends, especially  the one I didn't appreciate as much as I should have.